Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Peek Behind The Curtain (The Dizard of Oz)

*I posted this on Facebook after I got tagged by my friend Nicole in a similar note.*

Nicole Raden tagged me in one of those "Write Things About Yourself And Then Tag Other People" chain-Facebook-note-letters. I'm playing by the rules, which explicitly state that I must list 25 things about myself that other people might not know. As you all probably know, I HATE talking about myself, but for the sake of regulations, here goes:

1.) I intentionally alter the level of my hat-bill to the left because I think it looks cooler.

2.) It is important to me to try and be as knowledgeable as possible about everything I'll want to talk about.

3.) Because of Thing #2 above, I'll usually read between 6 and 15 articles a day on things that interest me.

4.) I kept a legion of stuffed animals until I was 11 and had King-of-the-Mountain battles with them on my knees late at night.

5.) I still pick my nose.

6.) I really wish I could grow shag-length hair without 4 months of horrible in-between phases.

7.) I also wish my hair was naturally curly enough to have cornrows.

8.) My obsession with sports runs far deeper than any of you realize.

9.) When I'm doing something, I'll often stage a contest between my right and left hands to see which can do it better.

10.) I always cheer for the left hand because it's the underdog.

11.) If I capitalize one letter or word in a piece of writing, I feel obliged to remain consistent and capitalize everything that supposed to be capitalized. If not, I really enjoy the freedom of non-shift-key typing.

12.) I only type with my index fingers.

13.) When I space out, I imagine myself scoring touchdowns in games of pickup football.

14.) There are a small handful of songs that I've listened to more than 10 times in a row. Among them: "One More Time" by Daft Punk, "Pass Me Over" by Anthony Hamilton, "Sideways" by Citizen Cope, "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" by John Mayer, and "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay.

15.) I love my signature.

16.) I think expressions like "awkward" and "I miss your face" are annoying, as is excessive squealing when people see someone that they've seen sometime in the previous 6 months.

17.) Sometimes, when I listen to girls having a conversation, I imagine a group of guys saying the exact same things.

18.) I think political correctness is far more of a good thing than it is a bad thing.

19.) I drink 3 full cups of black coffee almost everyday. And a small glass of whiskey.

20.) I value independence in people very highly.

21.) One of the main reasons I read the entire Bible was so I could say that I had. I learned a lot of awesome stuff along the way.

22.) I really like wearing things on my wrists and ankles.

23.) I believe that the closer people are to nakedness, regardless of their sex, body type, or upbringing, the better off they are. Nudey is beauty.

24.) When I die, I hope the world remembers me.

25.) I love the friendships I have that can go weeks without communication and pick up without having skipped a beat or either person feeling jilted.

Monday, December 29, 2008

The Hardest I've Laughed In Weeks

You know how verbal laughter, like self-acceptance, is harder to come by when you're by yourself? If you're like me, you're the last bastion of true masculinity, and you also find that you don't laugh out loud nearly as often if you're by yourself. Experiencing something funny with others causes verbal laughter more readily than when you're alone.

Well, the link I'm about to show you made me laugh out loud, repeatedly and painfully, even though I'm 2,300 miles away from anyone important (I'm talking about you, Man-Humping-Bear statue!)

If you're a veteran of DizzoDreams, you know that I'll occasionally refer you to a site called Cracked. Well, I'm gonna do it again. One of their columnists is named Michael Swaim, and in this article, he lists his 8 favorite internet-sketch-comedy-troupes.

GO HERE!

Often times, I'm more likely to skim an article and rarely do I click on video links. I am so glad I didn't make that mistake with this piece. Swaim includes a couple of videos from each troupe he lists and I highly encourage taking the time to watch them.

Personal Favorites:
*The Herpes medication that causes semi-controllable teleportation
*The Kwanzaa rap
*"Fate of the World"
*The One-Liner Service
*"Trickin'-it-to-the-Treats"
*Wolfopocalypse
*"My Super Sweet Funeral"

Please watch this. Especially you, Emerick.

**My apologies to anyone offended by any of the skits, especially the DuckTales parody and the last one.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Worst Sports Year Ever



Think I've been exaggerating when I've bemoaned the fates of my favorite sports teams? Well, check out this article from ESPN.com's Jim Caple on the past 12 months in Seattle sports. Then resist the urge to throw yourself in front of an oncoming bus.

Among the lowlights:
*NBA commissioner David Stern carved a rusty hole where his heart used to be by letting Clay Bennett move the SuperSonics to Oklahoma City.

*Mariners GM Bill Bavasi mortgaged the future of the team in exchange for 6 months of poking M's fans in the eyes with tobasco-dipped toothpicks.

* The Washington Huskies lost every game. Every game. Do you know how hard that is to do? They even got to play Wazzu! Seriously, right now, you could blindfold yourself, spin around fifty times, and then walk into the very pits of fiery Hell and come away with at least one college football win.

*The Seahwaks, Seattle's prennial winners of late, are sending their hero-coach, walrus Holmgren, out with a 4-win season. The sunset he thought he was riding off into turned out to be a painted brick wall.

*Bonus Feature: the 'Grey's Anatomy' spoof video in the sidebar.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Got Ten Minutes And Need A Headache?

Then check THIS out.

#19 really threw me.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Really, Disney?

I know that it's kind of played out to make jokes about all the sexual innuendo in Disney movies. So I won't, even though there are like, 1,000 penises in "The Little Mermaid."

I came across this article and would have laughed really hard at it if it didn't heart my heart so much to read it.

Don't get it twisted, I still love Disney -- these movies were among my favorites growing up -- and they do seem to avoid this kind of thing these days, but it's still pretty wild to look back on some of the characters these guys dreamed up, reflecting much of society's views of "the other" at the times the films were made.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lyricism Part II

*BlogSpot is messin' with my fonts right now. My apologies.*

This is the second installment of the Lyricism series, a humble attempt to play tribute to my favorite MCs by posting some of their best flows.


Part I is here.

Today's MCs are Black Thought, Scarface, and Talib Kweli.
As always, I will link to video of the songs after listing the lyrics. Enjoy.

Black Thought (from "The Roots")
"Yeah, it ain't nothin' like I rush I get, in front of the band
On stage wit the planet in the palm of my hand
When a brother transform, from anonymous man
To the force, crush whoever might of thought I was playin
'"
-Don't Say Nuthin'

"If I can't work to make it, I'll rob and take it
Either that or me and my children are starving and naked
Rather be a criminal pro than to follow the matrix
Hey it's me a monster y'all done created
I've been inaugurated
Keep the bright lights out of our faces
You can't shake it, it ain't no way to swallow the hatred
Aim, fire, holla about a dollar, nothin' is sacred"

-False Media

Scarface
"
Dear diary, help me cause I'm frantic
Sometimes I think I'm going schizophrenic
The world's looking dark for instance
Maybe 'cause I'm looking from a distance
But then again I wear a blindfold
Staring at the motherfucking world with my eyes closed
To myself I'm a stranger
Walking in the foot steps of danger
It's a long path ahead of me
I gotta get somewhere cause everybody here is scared of me
I had a job but they fired me
My wife walked out now I'm living in my diary"
-Diary Of A Madman

"
Funny how people can take this shit for granted, right?
But then reality strikes, and changes things overnight
I thank the Lord for watchin' over me, though I'm prone to doin wrong
I repent religiously, hopin' that the weak get strong
when the heat get's on
Hopin' that the weak get strong, when the heat get's on.
"
-Sorry For What?

Talib Kweli
"
Life is a beautiful struggle
People search through the rubble for a suitable hustle
Some people usin' the noodle, some people usin' the muscle
Some people put it all together, make it fit like a puzzle
Come on, say it now."

-I Try

"My words drippin' off the tongue like the wax from a candle wick,
Ill the way I lay down the rap, they can't handle it,
Cats all sappy like romantic flicks, dude, get a clue,
Like Colonel Mustard in the study with a candlestick,
They holdin' hands with these dudes like they goin' steady,
But, one glimpse and I know they ready, you already know,
Slipped her a note like, 'you ready to go?'
We make a getaway plan and we head for the do'!"
-Hot Thing/In The Mood (Sick Music Video!)

Check out these artists if you don't know 'em already. If you do, get to know them better.

Next time: Common, Brother Ali, KRS-One.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

In Other News...

A very good man lost the Presidential Election to a great man.

Busy Month

Sorry for holding out on this blog for so long. It has been pretty hectic around here lately. Some updates:

Jared and Jenny came to visit for a week. Man, what a blessing that was. It was so good to have a piece of home here, someone who I could slip back into my comfort zone with.

The day J & J left, three old buddies - Brad, Travis, and James - flew in for another week. It was a wild fortnight, to be sure. They were an amazing addition to our condo as they brought hourly entertainment with their party-attitude and ridiculous banter. Another piece of home for me.

Halloween in Waikiki is absurd. The main strip closes down and a mile-long, thousands-of-people big block party ensues. Lindsay and I were 80's aerobics instructors, Celina was a cowgirl, Harrison was a UFC fighter, and Brad/Travis/James were the neon-rock group BonerStorm. And they stole the show on Kalakaua Ave.

About half-way through the Halloween bonanza, some random drunk dude saw fit to punch me in the face three times. I've never been punched in the face, outside of wrestling around with friends and my brother -- I don't recommend it. I wanted to hit back, but the thing about street fights is that you're not just fighting the guy in front of you. You're fighting him, whoever is with him, and whatever they have in their pockets. It's not really about "toughest guy wins" out here. Plus, I had heard lots of stories about fights out here that ended in cheap shots, stabbings, massive injuries, etc. So, since everyone was shoulder to shoulder and I had been separated from the group, I stood there and received three solid punches to my otherwise peaceful visage.

My brother moved back home and I am very sorry to see him go. He was my best friend on the island and our relationship got a lot stronger over the past two months.

Lindsay and I celebrated two years together. We're rad.

Lindsay's birthday is this week as well, so I bought her a new roommate, Mango the bunny. I'm sure she'll post pictures of him on her blog/Facebook as she is now in love with that furry sack of cuteness.

I also bought a computer and got a credit card. I kicked and screamed the entire time I applied for that damn piece of plastic. Oh well, people tell me it's necessary. We'll see.

More to come. Love.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Ugh

If you've been following this blog, you're probably aware that I find race-relations in America to be both fascinating and highly influential on society.

This microcosm has been thrown into sharp relief over the last year and a half with the first legitimate black (or any minority, for that matter) candidate for President. For transparency's sake, know that I like Barack Obama. A lot. I will probably vote for him in a month.

I also like John McCain. I couldn't be happier that the next President will be one of these two men. For the most part, the campaigns of these two men have been run pretty fairly, with low blows being limited to usual political fare.

Nonetheless, as Obama begins widening his lead in the national polls, the McCain-Palin candidacy has taken a turn for the ugly. Where racist and inflammatory remarks by supporters used to be immediately disavowed by McCain, he and his running-mate have called off their criticism of such behavior.

Frank Rich just wrote an article in the New York Times about the recent trend at McCain-Palin rallies. It should be noted that Rich's own biases are only thinly disguised in the piece, but despite that, I think that the thrust of the article is startling and important.

I won't be devastated if McCain wins. I think he'd be a good President and a major improvement over our current one. Nonetheless, it's discouraging to see the campaign take an ugly turn like this. Race, like gender, will unfortunately always play a role in the decisions our society makes. It's just disheartening to see one of the campaigns endorse the discrimination by doing nothing about it.