Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"Hi, How Are Ya?"

From the Dayton Daily Newspaper:


Rockies rookie sees idol Griffey pull off rare feat

By Hal McCoy

Saturday, July 26, 2008

CINCINNATI — Colorado rookie third baseman Ian Stewart thought Ken Griffey Jr. is something special and now he believes Griffey is extra-special.

Stewart grew up in Southern California idolizing Griffey and told a writer before Friday's he'd like to meet Griffey. When the writer relayed the message, Griffey said, "Tell him I'll hit a triple tonight and meet him at third base."

A triple? Yeah, sure.

Well, in the sixth inning Friday Griffey hit a ball into the right field corner that eluded Brad Hawpe. Griffey slid into third and when he popped up out of his slide he said to Stewart, "Hi, how are ya?"

On Saturday, Griffey checked his cell phone and said, "I have 32 text messages and 29 say, 'You hit a triple?' And one says, 'Who died in right field for you to get a triple?' "

Griffey responded quickly when asked when he hit his previous triple: "Last year, in St. Louis. I had a bet with a certain teammate (Norris Hopper) that I'd hit a triple before he hit a home run. I won."



Sunday, July 27, 2008

Congratulations, Dave!

Warning: This post is very awesome and may give you goosebumps.

It's a rough time to be a Mariner fan, but something awesome happened today: Mariners play-by-play announcer Dave Niehaus got elected to the Hall of Fame. He is the first Mariner ever inducted into Cooperstown and will remain the only one until Edgar and Junior are inducted.

Below are some of Dave's most memorable calls, presented to you radio-style.

*The First Pitch in Mariner's History.

*Gaylord Perry's 300th Career Victory.

*Ken Griffey Jr(!)'s 56th Home Run in 1998.

*Edgar Martinez' Grand Slam in the Playoffs.

*The Greatest Sports Moment of My Life.

Thank you Dave, for raising me as a baseball fan to love and appreciate the game that you' so eloquently describe. You've earned this day!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Anthropomorphic Bilingual Godbot

This season sucks. I've intentionally avoided blogging about the Mariners for a while now because this has been, without peer, the most disappointing season in the team's 41 year history.

Nonetheless, I came across an article written about the M's season on LookoutLanding.com, a Mariners Fan Blog. The writer's name is Jeff, and he described how I feel right now better than I can:

"I have seen this team lose on a balk.

I have seen this team lose on a walk.

I have seen this team lose on a home run.

I have seen this team lose on a home run that was taken away.

I have seen this team lose on a caught steal.

I have seen this team lose on an outfield assist.

I have seen this team lose to Pedro Martinez.

I have seen this team lose to Doug Waechter.

I have seen this team lose in almost every way imaginable, and I have seen this team lose in ways I couldn't ever dream up.

I had never seen this team lose on a misplay by Ichiro.

Don't get me wrong, that was far from an easy play to make. Inglett hit the ball hard, and there are few plays more difficult than a line drive headed right in your direction. But Ichiro missed. He judged, he tracked, he leaped, and he missed. He flat-out missed. Although perhaps "missed" conveys the wrong impression. Better to say he fumbled. Ichiro had the ball in his sights, jumped to make a catch we've seen him make a hundred times, and fumbled. And the Blue Jays won.

After this long of a season (only 60 left to go), one can't help but become accustomed to the familiar letdowns. As the losses pile up their impact is diminished, to the point at which they feel like more of a confirmation than a bother. As far as I'm concerned, the Mariners stopped losing a few weeks ago. The Mariners stopped losing and started finishing, and it no longer mattered what took place as long as the game came to an end and gave us something to talk about. Instead of wins and losses, games became data points, and stripped of our emotional investment, we were all rendered rather indifferent little analysts, a group of people who speak earnestly of Felix but discuss outcomes with a vacant, empty expression. This is us. This is what the Mariners have caused us to become.

But tonight felt different. Not because of the loss, but because of how the loss came to happen. For all of this team's failings, Ichiro was supposed to be immune. He was supposed to be the cool, calm bastion of consistency, the reliable superstar who through only the good of his heart allows himself to go slumming every day with our assortment of losers. From Day 1 he's always been held to a higher standard, and he's justified his pedestal by always coming to play and seldom making mistakes. For as long as he's been in the big leagues, it's never been a matter of Ichiro not doing enough for his team; it's been a matter of his team not doing enough for Ichiro.

But tonight felt different. Because tonight, for the first time in as long as I can remember, one of my central tenets of fandom was violated; the tenet that Ichiro is something greater than human. That he's some kind of anthropomorphic bilingual robot sent from the heavens to amuse and entertain. For Ichiro to err is to shake the very foundation upon which our allegiance has been built, and let me tell you - when you're used to brushing these things off like they're no big deal, it's an unpleasant experience. As that line drive bounced off of Ichiro's glove and fell to the ground, I felt a knot in my stomach, the likes of which I hadn't felt in a couple months. The knot of hopeless despair. Pervasive, hopeless despair, despair that manifests itself through every available medium, be it human or anthropomorphic bilingual Godbot.

I hate that knot. Just when you think the team has finally pushed you over the edge into a permanent state of stolid disinterest, it finds a new way to get you, a new way to gnaw away at your insides and remind you that there's always a new way to demonstrate the absence of a floor. There is no floor. There is no floor. Things can always get worse, and if there's anything we can take away from the game tonight, it's that nothing and nobody is safe from the ongoing proof of the most dreary of universal truths.

Touche, cosmos."

Yep, that about covers it.

Monday, July 21, 2008



2008 ESPYs

Every year, ESPN puts on a massive, star-studded awards show for the best in the year of sports. As you can imagine, I love this event.

This year, Justin Timberlake hosted. I like JT, I think his music is cool now, and I think he's a bona fide superstar in a culture of wannabes. But even so, I was very, very impressed with the job he did hosting the ESPYs.

For some reason, BlogSpot won't let me embed the clips. Instead, I have to link to them the old-fashioned way. If you only watch one of the clips, make sure it's the awesome, hilarious, impressive musical performance.

Also, I've linked to the Opening Monologue and the "Best Moments of the Year" montage.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Change In Electoral Strategy?

Came across this today. I hope it ushers in a new era where every candidate feels compelled to create a misspelled, politically-incorrect, self-righteous comic book as part of their campaign strategies.

Note: The above link requires Adobe. If you can't open it, an excerpt is here.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The King Of Pop

With all of the trials, weirdness, and dearth of new albums, it's easy to forget just how awesome Michael Jackson was.

Perhaps no single person since Elvis has embodied "cool" the way that MJ did in the 80's and early 90's. He once had an album with seven #1 singles on it. He invented a sound that others haven't even tried to emulate and countless dance moves that serve as the blueprint for many of todays live acts.

This video did a great job of reminding me just how spectacular of a performer Michael was.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

What Would You Do For $20,000/Hr?

Rush Limbaugh is as divisive of a person as there is in this country. I can't stand to listen to the guy. Two of my co-workers are die-cast Rush maniacs. Therein lies the beauty of Rush Limbaugh.

The reasons I loathe him are the exact same reasons his fans love him. To decide for yourself, click here real quick. As much as I dislike his persona and his way of doing things, I will never disrespect his genius.

Limbaugh took a three-hour radio show and turned it into the most influential conservative empire in this country. The NY Time wrote a long feature article on Limbaugh shortly before he signed an 8-year, $400,000,000(!) contract extension for his show.

The article is fascinating. No matter how you view Rush Limbaugh, you have to admit he's as compelling an American as there is.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Please Make Sure All Of your Moose Have Their Trays In The Upright And Locked Position

Sone of my favorite things, along with words that have the letter 'z" in them, are funny state/local laws that are still in effect.

For example:
*It is still illegal to have pre-marital sex in Virginia.
*In North Carolina, it is illegal to visit relatives' graves after dark
*In Alaska, it is still illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane(!).
*In Iowa, kisses may not last for more than five minutes.
*In South Dakota, it is illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory.
*In Texas, it is illegal to carry a concealed ice cream cone.
*In Utah, a drive-by shooting could get you five years in jail and a $5,000 fine, but you could spend 15 years in prison and pay $10,000 for altering the license plate stickers on your car.
*In Tucsan, AZ, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
*In New Britain, CT, fire trucks must drive 25 MPH, even when driving to a fire.
*In Tallahassee, FL, it is still legal to have sex with a porcupine.
*In Baltimore, MD, it illegal to take your lion to the theater.

The full list is here.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


This story just broke tonight on The NY Times Website. It is a follow-up to the subject I approached a few posts ago: the torture of prisoners at Guantanemo Bay.

Read it here.

For those who still support the use of inhumane interrogation tactics by American soldiers, I'd love to hear your thoughts now that it's been revealed that the chart outlining American interrogation tactics was copied verbatim from a 1957 chart used by Communist China to extract confessions from American prisoners.

This sucks.

Hooray for... Utah?

When I think of progressive states, Utah is not the first to jump into my brain. In fact, it's not even in the top 42. I may, however, need to rethink that after reading this column.

I'm all for it. I've been advocating four-day work weeks for a while now, and numerous workplace studies have shown increased production and employee morale in businesses that use the four-day model.

On top of that, it has the potential to drastically reduce the amount of fuel used during the weekly commute. Come on, Washington!